Comments from the Last Two Assignments

Around mid November, I collected back my last two assignments of the course "Human Resources Management, Leadership and Team Building" and "Master of Social Science Project" while I came back to campus to get my graduate gown.

The assignment "Recruitment Strategies as Operating Inception of Organizational Function: the Case of Wal-Mart China", which is a short article related to recruitment policy in 939 words, was allotted 12 marks out of 20 with instructor's comment as follows:

"I don't know whether it is the language, I don't really understand what you focus on. You used structure process ... but I don't see any relevance in your analysis."

To go through again what I had written down after six months, yet I had my confidence at that time with my accomplishment of that short article, I accept the comment above and reflect some ideas not explained clearly enough due to word limitation. It is hard and "uncomfortable" to express complex ideas in mini-text. This is what I get.

Another assignment, which is a long thesis with about 8000 words in 47 pages and with 47 references, has very encouraging response from my instructor Amy Yiu. The A- assignment "Utilizing Leadership Exploration to Establish Adolescent Identity by Narrative Approach" is treated as a formal thesis to write and investigate myself. I really tried to settle a distinct advantage under my practicum trial for the sake of research sparkling insight as reference to enhance further narrative approach application. Amy's comment is opposite to that of the former assignment as follows:

"Organization and structure: Systematic, well structured, comprehensive and well-organized."

"Quality of literature review: very extensive."

"Richness of the content: The content is rich. It seems that you have written a book to me. I think the words should exceed the expectation. A clear abstract is written. The introductory paragraphs are long. Highlights on main themes of identity building and leadership building to adolescents are thoroughly written. Narrative approach that has adopted for the group is hinted. Explanation on the conceptual framework of the group is very clear. Literature review on identity, leadership & Narrative Approach is comprehensive. Intervention strategies are clearly described. Implementation of the group is clearly and concisely written. Attempts and process to integrate theories into actual practice is seriously demonstrated. The evaluation section is good. Analysis is sensible, except the returned rate of evaluation is only 62.5%. Thus, analysis based on this may not be very comprehensive. It is always valuable to solicit opinions from absent members. Thus a more holistic picture can be drawn. The discussion section is very good. Views on youth advocacy and practice implication are insightfully discussed. Yet, conclusive remarks are lacking. The tables are clear and expressive. Appendix is good."

"Analysis & critique: Very good."

"Integration of social work knowledge: Very good."

"New insights: Serious and cautious on personal as well as professional insights. Excellent in macro insights."

"Referencing: Very good."

"Eloquence of written: Expressive, eloquent &sophisticated."

The comment from the thesis is very important for me if I have my plotting to escalate to further study of a doctoral degree, in particular, that my master degree is not a research one. Frankly, I accept those descriptions of mine from the comment and am not surprisingly to be described in this way which is concurrent to my expectation before submitted.

However, the thesis not attained grade A should be some minor disadvantages existed as the half gap between grade A and A-. Then, what is the gap?

The gap found, according to Amy's indication and my reflection, should be concluded in four points:

1. Lack of explanation with the not high enough attendance rate and evaluation response;

2. Lack of conclusion;

3. Introduction seems quite long;

4. Falsely use a subject word "we" in one sentence within the thesis, which compounded the objectivity of the research basis.

The writing process of a thesis is enjoyable to make life fulfill with consolidated experience of wisdom and wit reasoning mind. To make ideas clearly step by step is the construction and practice of the self-precetpion of the objective world around us. This is my interest to keep aware against surroundings newly found, which is a process of discovering and generating joy.